Poser

That's how I feel when I walk into a ski shop, guitar store, or any other store where the people working there are really good at the sport or hobby they are selling.

Even though I can ski and play the guitar, I feel like the people in the store are looking at me and thinking: Poser.

Poser, as in someone who is a beginner and not very good, but is trying to get better.

It could be me.

It could be my own feelings of being inadequate.

It could be a lack of confidence.

I'm naturally introverted so I don't approach new people with an air of knowing what I am doing.

I usually surprise people.

But I feel like a poser when I’m in a place where I need to ask the experts a question that is probably the most basic one they have heard all day.

Except at Jiu-Jitsu class.

I am at square one. I know nothing. Every class feels like total ignorance. I can't even pronounce most of moves. Mostly because they are in Portuguese, but still.

I’m always rolling with a higher belt because, at this point, everyone is a higher belt.

At the same time, no one makes me feel like a poser.

No one laughs or smirks or gives me an eye roll if I’m trying to figure it out.

I think it's because everyone remembers when they were starting out.

Everyone knows they were once the lowest belt in the class. No one has forgotten what it was like to be totally ignorant.

And everyone is still learning.

It's a long road to master an art like Jiu-Jitsu and most people never master it.

But that's what makes it interesting.

That's what makes it fun.

That's what makes you want to keep coming back.