Every week at Jiu-Jitsu, I learn something new.
But one thing stays the same: details determine success.
Going for a choke or an armbar and not getting it is frustrating. What's more frustrating is realizing you were about a centimeter from finishing the move and getting the tap.
During a break in the action, the professor or coach comes over and tells you why you weren't successful.
99% of the time, it's a tiny detail.
Reaching a little deeper into the collar of the gi to get the choke. Sliding your hips to one side to get the right leverage. Keeping your hips low so you don't get rolled.
When it's explained, it's not only a small thing, it's completely obvious.
Every week I feel stupid for what I didn't see.
At the same time, I'm encouraged. The details are small and obvious, but also simple. Knowing the difference between success and failure is a small detail means it's possible to get better at this Jiu Jitsu thing.
It's possible to learn the small details each week. It's possible to keep showing up and work on being successful at the small things so I'm successful at the whole thing.
Consistently doing the small things. Consistently executing the details.
It's easy to lose focus and to try to do big things. It's easy to get distracted by new things, popular things. Something shiny syndrome (SSS).
When you go for the SSS, you forget the details.
Of course, it takes years to get good at the details. It takes time to build the habits that help you execute on the details.
First, you have to learn what the details are. In Jiu-Jitsu, it means trying and failing and having someone show you what they are. You can watch a million videos about Jiu-Jitsu or read about the moves, but unless you get on the mat and experience the feeling, you can't know how far you'll need to reach on that underhook or how much force you're going to need to apply to that cross collar choke in order to get the other person to tap. You also need to be the one who is getting choked to understand what it feels like.
In life, you don't get a dedicated hour two or three times a week to try out the moves. The world is the mat and you have to get on it every day and figure out the small details that are going to make you successful.
But, tapping out in life can impact your life more than tapping out in class.
Or can it? Is it more impactful? What does tapping out in real life look like?
In class, it's just an acknowledgment your partner got you into an uncomfortable and potentially harmful position. It gives you a chance to say, "You got me. Let's start again." Most coaches will tell you to tap early and often when you get started in Jiu-Jitsu. Every one gets tapped out. There's no shame in it.
So in life, is there a parallel? Do we have chances in life to tap out and say, "You got me. Let's start again." This sounds like accountability and humility. It sounds like admitting your mistakes. It sounds like learning from life.
People who are willing to tap quickly get more reps. There’s no sense in struggling when you get in a bad position.
When you get in a bad position, just say, "I'm tapping out."
Are there times when you can't do this? I would think people might say you can't tap out when you’re fighting for survival. When it’s life and death and there isn't another chance if you fail.
How often does that happen every day to any of us?
Usually, we are stubborn about something at work or at home. It's a difference of opinion or a problem that doesn't threaten our survival.
How many people get into these bad positions and feel like they can't tap because it will hurt their pride. They don't want to walk away with a bruised ego. They want to do whatever it takes to come out of it looking good or at least not looking bad,
What if they just tapped? What if they said, "You got me." How much less drama would there be in their lives?
These are simple details.
Jiu-Jitsu isn't the only place to learn this lesson.
But for me, it's where I am exercising this thought.
It's where I am making this idea a part of who I am.